I am gonna get wordy and emotional so feel free to ignore me if you cant handle it..
Sometimes life gives you lemons and you are supposed to make lemonade…but sometimes life gives you lemons and you wanna go to your room and cry for days on end….and kick a hole in the wall just because.
Right now, I wanna do the latter and crawl in that hole
This year, despite all the positive thoughts and premonitions I had, we have had nothing but shitty news after shitty news.
We are only 20 days into this year and I wanna start over..
I don’t need to go into great details, but, I will summarize it for you… Bad news seems to be the only news we have been getting and if frankly, if I get anymore I may crack.
Firstly, we have not been blessed with the greatest health so far this year. We have all been sick and struggling to get on our feet again. The flu was nasty, but the downtime was worse…I missed meetings, had to cancel numerous work stuffs and had to keep G out of school.
Then we had some serious changes happen with the Ducks career and have since, everyday been trying to move upwards and onwards. This level of constant “trying to be positive” can be draining in it of itself.
Everything was on the up and up with work stuff until last week when I was bamboozled and ripped off by a painting crew. Nearly cost me my job and did in fact cost me thousands of dollars. It was such a bummer that the thought alone brings me to tears daily.
and now, as if all this was not enough the Duck, G and I are off to the UK tomorrow to go visit and likely say goodbye to the Ducks beloved Nan. We are not emotionally prepared for what we may see and go through, nor can I afford to take the time off work as crass as that sounds. We want to say “I love you” in person since we most likely only have one last chance. Its an awful and sad thought that I just don’t want to think about. I have a day to prepare myself, my dog, my cat, my house, my employees, my clients and myself for an 11 hour flight then 3 hour drive to another country and time zone with a 3 year old that has a fever and what I suppose is a festering ear infection. On top of it all, I feel so bad for my Mother and sister in-law as well as my dear Ducky who just cant seem to catch a break.
ALSO and this may be the worst thing (wink wink) I had 6 mother flickin moles removed from my back and 2 that need biopsies. I feel like I was dragged behind a truck on searing hot asphalt.
Wah Wah Wah
Now friends, maybe these don’t seem like big problems, but they are my problems and because they are happening to me..they feel huge. In my little world this is sad and disruptive and makes me feel like I have been punched in the mouth repeatedly. Plus the people I love most are hurting, and this hurts me hard..
Normally, I try not to bring my shit to this place, where I believe most of you come for inspiration and happy pretty things, but I just figured….it was time to get real. Not for sympathy, but for a release.
This is my diary lovers…. and I already feel better for writing some of this shit down.
Anyways, I have nothing to show you right now and no smoke to blow up your beautiful booties about how fab life is. I only have my bitching and moaning and self wallowing to share.
I am taking a brief blog break while I kiss my husband and baby and bumble around Britain but I will stay active on instagram (amberinteriors)
Thanks for listening lovers and sorry for being a Debbie downer on 2013 so far. Hopefully shit will turn around soon and I can smile a bit. Hopefully your year is looking much brighter so far.